the toy matrix

The Only Toy Gift Guide for a 4-Year-Old You'll Ever Need

Photo-Illustration: Photo-Illustration: Stevie Remsberg; Photos: Courtesy of the retailers

You know about New York Magazine's "Approval Matrix." Now, the Strategist has taken that model of what falls where on our taste hierarchies and applied it to toys. In this case, the four sides of the grid are "Educational" (say, a talking microscope), "Brain Candy" (singing Elsa), "Reasonably Priced," and "Splurgy." Each toy in every quadrant comes highly recommended — click here to learn more about our sourcing process and the dozens of experts involved — and every age up to double digits is covered, all of which you can see by also clicking here.

Here, we take on age 4. According to Dr. Roberta Golinkoff, a professor of child psychology at the University of Delaware and co-author of Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children, it's useful to think about the "six C's" when it comes to gifting for this group: collaboration, communication, content, creative innovation, critical thinking, and confidence. You can find all that and more in the recommendations that follow from not only professionals like Golinkoff but also some highly discerning parents, nannies, and toy buyers. Jump directly to the section that interests you most — "Educational/Reasonably Priced," "Educational/Splurgy," "Brain Candy/Reasonably Priced," or "Brain Candy/Splurgy" — or read all the way through to get the full picture of what kids these days are into. Whether you're shopping for a birthday or the holidays or any other day, it's a list that keeps on giving.

eeBoo Create a Story Cards, Mystery in the Forest

"I love this little gift" for vocabulary and language development, says Dr. Alexandra Figueras-Daniel, the associate director of Bank Street College of Education's Straus Center for Young Children & Families. The set of 36 illustrated storytelling cards can be arranged and rearranged into different stories and scenarios, allowing kids to create a new narrative every time they play with it. "It's inexpensive," Figueras-Daniel adds, "and great to carry in a bag for waiting at a restaurant or taking on a trip."

Never Forget a Face Memory Matching Game

This endlessly replayable game — where you match 24 different children to their country of origin, referring to the map on the back cover — is great for two reasons: It improves memory skills, and it teaches world geography. "I love that this game offers so many opportunities for discussion and extended learning," says Tammy Bravo-Eby, a kindergarten teacher. "My daughter has memorized the countries from which each child originates and loves to find them on her globe — it's inspired her to learn more about the people and the world around her."

UCEC Decorative Paper Edge Scissor Set

Scissors are a superlative tool for honing fine motor skills and improving hand strength, and wacky scissors like these are fun to use, too. "You want toys that involve the arts," says Golinkoff. The edges on this easy-to-grip, child-safe set cut through anything from construction paper to cardboard to photo film — and come in six different shapes for wavier and more interesting borders.

Melissa & Doug See & Spell Wooden Educational Toy

Before they actually start to learn to read, children work on pre-reading skills like letter forms, storytelling, and spacing, among other things. According to Lori Caplan-Colon, a speech and language pathologist at Montclair Speech Therapy, this set of wooden letters with corresponding pictures and word guides simplifies the process by letting kids focus on the simple act of building a word. "The directed, goal-oriented play helps children celebrate each "win" as they gain mastery, learning important sight words and improving fine motor skills all the while," says Caplan-Colon.

Creativity for Kids Create With Clay Dinosaurs

This clay-dinosaur craft kit makes kids feel like one part artist, one part paleontologist: molding their own dinosaurs in a swirl of primary colors; using little tools and the same bright clay to cover up faux fossils. In other words, it's one of those celebrated STEAM-learning toys (science, technology, engineering, arts, and mathematics), whose excellence was even recognized with an Oppenheim Gold Award, which, according to Holly Magelof — toy buyer from the Dolphin Bookshop of Port Washington, New York, and a 20-plus year veteran of the toy-buying industry — is a big deal in her world. ("That's something people get excited about," she says). And in the words of an effusive Amazon reviewer: "My 4-year-old did it all by himself, and it was adorable to watch. He was so happy with the finished product, and I wanted to die because it was hilariously cute!"

Miniland Newborn Baby Doll, Asian Boy

"As parents, we have to be mindful of the subliminal messages we send," says Caitlin Meister, founder of the Greer Meister Group, a private tutoring and educational consulting practice in Brooklyn. If children see only dolls that aren't anatomically correct, she says, they could be getting a message that there's something about those body parts that should be ignored or kept hidden or secret. Instead, she thinks it's important to have a balance of dolls, including some — like this one from Miniland — that accurately represent children's bodies to help counter any unintentional negative messaging. Miniland's inclusive line of dolls represents different races as well as babies with Down syndrome.

SmartGames Smart Farmer Board Game

This innovative farm-animal scenario "challenges kids to really think about each move," says NAPPA Awards director Elena Epstein. It works by creating a layout for a series of cows and pigs and such that must be kept separated using the limited number of fences included with the game; a child must figure out the perfect placement for each challenge, putting to use logic, spatial reasoning, planning, and visualization. "Kids feel a lot of pride as they figure out each level of the game," Epstein says.

Play22 Take Apart Racing Car Toy

"Open the box, and you've got the basics of an auto-body shop," says Jason Feifer, editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur magazine, host of the podcasts Pessimists Archive and Hush Money, and dad of two under the age of 6. "There's a big plastic drill that spins at non-dangerous speeds as well as the disassembled parts of a car — chassis, roof, wheels, bumpers, and a bunch of screws. At first, a very practical parent might just assemble the car and think … That's it? But to kids, it becomes an endless experiment: They'll spend hours mastering their screwing technique, changing the wheels around (or screwing them into the roof or front bumper), and generally just re-pimping this ride over and over and over."

Plan Toys Assorted Fruits and Vegetables

It may look like nothing more than aesthetically pleasing wooden produce display (maybe even worthy of an adult dining table), but it's also "the perfect way for little ones to learn about their fruits and vegetables," says Ashley Tyrner, a single mom and the founder and CEO of Farmbox Direct, a subscription-based organic-produce service. (Tyrner also leads her now-8-year-old daughter's healthy-meal-kit company, Harlow's Harvest). Everything in the set — lemon, orange, carrot, mushroom, pear — is made from sustainably harvested rubberwood trees, with a velcro mechanism within, so kids can actually develop their knife skills by sliding through the velcro with the wooden blade included.

Melissa & Doug Pet Vet Play Set

If you're worried about your children missing out on the more social aspects of school due to (ongoing) social-distancing rules, consider a toy that encourages empathy and pretend play. To help young kids practice caring, Caplan-Colon suggests getting them a pretend veterinarian kit that teaches them to treat and heal a plush kitten and puppy.

Imagination Generation Slice & Share Picnic Basket

Here's a companion toy to go with the wooden fruit-and-vegetables set above. Dr. George Sachs, a child psychologist and founder of the Sachs Center in Manhattan, stresses that "this is the age when kids are doing a lot of pretend play." Even though we're talking Tribeca prices for the sandwiches here, "this picnic play set is wonderful," Sachs says, full of pretending potential using different props.

Educational Insights GeoSafari Jr. Talking Microscope

This entirely kid-friendly microscope has a dual eyepiece, so there's no need for closing one eye to use it. "I love the Geosafari Microscope for my curious preschooler," says Andrea Scalzo Yi — founder of RaisingDragons.com and author of 100 Easy STEAM Activities. "It allows him to explore the world around him in a unique way and encourages learning through play, which is so important."

Learning Resources Pretend & Play Calculator Cash Register

"Cash registers are an excellent toy option," says Helen Sadovsky, a pediatric occupational therapist who runs Toy-Ideas.com, a blog focused on helping parents find developmentally appropriate and educational toys for their kids. "They teach counting and money-management skills in a simulated real-world environment." The register can also be a great part of imaginative play as your child sets up his or her very own store or restaurant.

Fat Brain Toys Squigz Deluxe 50 Piece Set

"Four-year-olds are really beginning to use fine motor skills in a way they couldn't before," says Sachs. He likes these Squigz, which are flexible assorted shapes that stick together by way of suction cups. "It uses their growing fine motor skills without being too frustrating for them." And you can imagine how a little one's eyes would light up when you hand over this gumball-machine like orb filled with 50 colorful pieces.

PLAYMOBIL Pony Farm Building Set

"Narrative or story-based play is a critical component of Playmobil's design," says the Toy Guy, Christopher Byrne, an author, a toy historian, and an independent analyst. Indeed, with the bounty of playthings in this horse-and-stable kit — saddles, grooming brushes, feeding troughs, a wheelbarrow, a pitchfork — there's no shortage of scenarios kids can dream up. "The cognitive and creative value of putting the imagination at the center of the experience is invaluable for both child development — and fun," says Byrne.

Learning Resources Gears! Gears! Gears!

Not only will this 80-piece building kit engender an interest in space and the stars and planets; it will foster engineering skills. "Kids are fascinated about the inner workings of just about anything," says Laurie Schacht, chief toy officer of The Toy Insider. And in this case, you can acclimate them at an early age to how gears work; the ones you assemble here rotate and become part of the story you're telling in arranging planets and spinning spaceships. In all kinds of configurations. "It's a great introduction to basic STEM skills."

B. Toys Pop-Arty! Snap Beads Jewelry Kit

Singer Sarah Gregory's children — twin boys and a girl — love this bead-jewelry kit from B. Toys that comes with 500 unique pieces that easily snap together. Not only are they fun for kids of any gender, but also, Gregory says, they're "great for fine-motor skills." She adds that one of her sons was obsessed with these beads for a long time — and not just as elements jewelry-making. "He used them to build things, like snakes," she explains. Her daughter, meanwhile, played with the kit more traditionally to design baubles with her friends.

SCHLEICH Velociraptor Dinosaur Toy
SCHLEICH Wild Life Indian Rhinoceros

For the animal lover, speech-language pathologist Ellice Kim Lacerda, who has an almost-4-year-old daughter, recommends adding a figurine from Schleich, the German toy company that's been around since 1935, to every gift. "In general, we love the Schleich figurines. We always add a few different animals to every holiday and birthday wish list," she says. "They are pricier than other figurines, but they look realistic and are very durable." Whether your kiddo prefers dinosaurs or wild animals, there's something for everyone.

Haba Sleepy Princess Pile Up

Figueras-Daniel recommends this "cute game" inspired by a classic fairy tale. It requires nimble hands to stack up pillows, comforters, and mattresses on top of a pea so the princess can go to bed comfortably. "It emphasizes fine-motor skills and turn-taking, which is an important social-emotional skill for 4-year-olds," she explains.

Face Paintoos Wild Pack

Face painting is a hallmark of birthday parties for kids this age, and this kit helps you re-create that fun at home. Adrienne Appel, a senior director of communications at the Toy Association, says the set of easy-to-remove temporary face tattoos really looks like professional face painting without the mess of actual paint. Appel's wisdom comes from personal experience: Her kids love using the kit when they're playing dress-up or taking funny photos.

Crocodile Dentist

"Let's be clear about something: This is Russian roulette for kids," says Entrepreneur's Feifer. "The plastic alligator sits poised, mouth agape. Players take turns pushing down one of the alligator's teeth, until they find the randomized one that triggers the alligator — and then, snap go the jaws! The gator's bite is surprisingly forceful, but kids don't seem to mind. It only heightens the playful tension. Then you pull the gator's mouth back open, the teeth reset, and it's time to play again."

LEGO Classic Creative Transparent Bricks 11013 Building Kit

Now that they're older, 4-year-olds can graduate from Duplos and move on to playing with Legos, toys that Sachs says "allow children to develop their own creative ideas and foster spatial awareness." They're wildly engaging and will keep kids busy for longer than you'd think possible. And even though most sets include specific pieces like car wheels and window panes, Legos are still totally open-ended toys. Joanna Faber, co-author ofHow to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, recommends them for that reason, saying,"Kids love Legos because you can endlessly make wild and crazy things with them."

ThinkFun Zingo!

A favorite of longtime Manhattan nanny Kasia Dabrowska, this bingo-esque game is easy to master and a great choice for a group of kids who are at different reading and math levels, namely because it requires zero reading or math; it's all about speed-spotting familiar items like a dog, bird, or baseball bat. In the author's own family, Zingo! is usually a shared child and parent activity, but it's also a great game for kids to play without the need for any input from adults.

PAW Patrol: The Movie - 4-Game Adventure City Pack

Though she admits "the kids cheat sometimes," Dabrowska says this matching game has been the go-to indoor playdate activity in her decade-plus experience with this age group. "They'll sit on the floor and play for hours." It's your classic memory game wherein you put all the cards face down and when it's your turn you flip over two of them in hopes they're a match — but in this case, Paw Patrol themed. And "everybody loves Paw Patrol," Dabrowska says. (An Amazon reviewer noted that his kids "talk about the characters and sing the songs when they make a match.") This four-game set includes not only the memory game but also a Paw Patrol–themed lookout game, a pop-up game, and a set of dominoes.

Doublesix Dominoes in Bucket

"What will a kid do with a bucketful of colored blocks?" asks Feifer. "Basically anything, of course. But these dominoes are especially good for domino trails. They're sturdy, brightly colored, and plentiful (because you will lose some to mysterious corners of the home). Lining them up for the big knock-down is a great parent-child activity, and 4-year-olds have just enough focus and motor control to create some basic trails themselves. The hardest part of it all: teaching your kid the willpower to not send the tiles toppling while you're only a handful deep."

Crate & Kids Plush Campfire Set

Another toy that taps into the fun of make-believe is this plush campfire set from Crate & Barrel's kids' line. "Although my kids got it for Christmas years ago, they still play with it to this day," says marketing manager and mom of three Irene Kwon, who notes it makes for a particularly good cold-weather activity. "During wintertime, when we're mostly indoors, my kids rely on their creativity to get them through those long hours at home. This toy really sets the stage for a cozy, relaxing, warm winter's night — sans fireplace." To make it even more like the real deal, Kwon suggests giving your child a cup of hot cocoa "to enjoy with their faux marshmallows." (And real ones — if they're lucky.)

The Big Dig and Roll Ride-On Working Excavator with Wheels

Kids who like playing in a sandbox will have even more fun doing so with this swiveling excavator crane, according to Lacerda. She told us the toy keeps her almost-4-year-old daughter "very occupied for long stretches of time" and "it is always a hit when friends come over." Simply set it up in the sandbox — or at the playground or the beach — plop your kiddo on the rotating seat, and watch them dig and dump to their heart's content.

Melissa & Doug Solid Wood Project Workbench Play Building Set

This master workbench comes with magnetic tools and a chalkboard for aspiring carpenters. "Kids can play for hours making up imaginary scenarios here," says Golinkoff. "Also, this will encourage collaboration and communication because the kids are going to talk to each other if they're playing here together." In another household, it just might be a legitimized excuse to bang at things loudly.

TP Toys Muddy Maker Mud Kitchen

If you're willing to let your little one get a bit messy, Lacerda loves how this mud kitchen from TP Toys "encourages creative play." Her daughter enjoys grabbing "sticks and leaves from the garden" and adding them to the removable sink, where she also likes to "wash and clean her toys." The kitchen comes with a burner, oven, shelving, and a set of stainless-steel pots, pans, and whisk, making it easy to whip up mud pies — or whatever else is on the menu.

Additional reporting by Lauren Levy and Liza Corsillo.

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The Only Toy Gift Guide for a 4-Year-Old You'll Ever Need