what to do if someone says i love you and you arent there yet
Is there anything more than awkward than a guy professing his feelings for you when yous're simply not ready to say "I love you" back? Uttering those three piffling words for the first time is a big deal for many people, some more than others. You shouldn't have to exercise anything you're not comfy with only because he's a few steps alee of you lot. If you need some tips on what to do when a guy tells you he loves you and you're just not at that place yet, read on.
Don't let him pressure you.
Even if he doesn't pressure level you with words, the manner he reacts to your silence could exist just as bad. Seeing that disappointed look on his face is enough to make some girls blurt out those iii words before she truly means them, and that's not good for either one of yous.
Give him a hug.
A niggling physical affection volition get a long manner to testify him you lot aren't completely freaked out by what he just said. Him saying the L-word should bring yous closer together, non create distance betwixt you. Physical affection can be incredibly reassuring and aid you reinforce your stiff bail.
Assure him that you care nearly him.
This is a vulnerable moment for him, and so brand sure you don't hesitate to let him know you care. It's a good affair that he'due south in love with yous, then you don't want him to regret proverb it. Let him know how much you intendance about him and wouldn't desire to imagine your life without him.
Be honest with him.
Lying to him most how you actually feel is only going to backfire later on. Chances are he'll be able to tell if you aren't being genuine anyway, so there's no point in saying "I love you" if you're not set and don't hateful it. Just tell him y'all're non there yet simply you lot're sure you lot volition be soon, and he should capeesh your honesty.
Treat him how you'd want to be treated.
Remember about how you lot would feel if you said "I love you lot" to someone and they didn't say it back. Pretty scary, right? So cut him a piddling slack if he needs a picayune time to process that. If y'all're agreement then he'll most probable come around.
Make sure to let him know you're headed in the same management.
Just because you lot aren't ready to say the words right at present doesn't mean you haven't thought about the possibility of saying them in the future. A lot of the time hearing those words has a way of forcing your manus a little chip. Are you lot in this for existent or not? Again, reiterate that you're headed in the aforementioned direction every bit him, you're just traveling forth the route a bit more slowly.
Don't act weird effectually him after.
If you act awkward and uncomfortable around him, it'due south only going to brand him regret saying I love y'all. He'll experience rejected and start worrying he's scared you away. Just act the same every bit y'all were before. Information technology doesn't have to be awkward unless you make information technology that way.
Don't say something awkward like "cheers."
Sometimes when we're caught off guard we blurt something out just to fill the silence, simply a couple of seconds of silence is better than having to backtrack later on saying the wrong thing. Have a second to remember before you speak and you won't regret it. Yous're not ready to say "I love you" now merely you lot may never get the take a chance if you lot screw up your response.
Tell him what yous like about him/your relationship.
If he seems a little discouraged later you lot tell him you aren't fix to say those three little words, tell him he has nothing to worry most because yous love existence with him. You don't want him to think he did anything wrong or outset questioning your human relationship, so brand sure he knows how happy yous are.
Be honest with yourself.
Afterward y'all make certain he's okay with you not reciprocating on the "I love y'all" right away, take a minute to think nigh how you actually feel. If he caught yous off baby-sit by saying it, maybe you just need some time to consider if you feel the same style. Information technology'southward okay to be cautious well-nigh maxim "I honey you lot" because information technology'due south a big deal and yous owe it to him and yourself to merely say it if you're sure you mean information technology. That being said, if you feel like you lot'll probably never exist on the same folio, you lot should be honest with him as well and tell him how you feel.
Non fix to say "I love y'all"? Here's why it's so difficult
When a guy tells y'all he loves you lot and you just can't get the words out to say it back, you might wonder if there'southward something wrong with you and why yous're struggling and then much. Don't be so hard on yourself. At that place are plenty of reasons you might not be in the right place to render the gesture (at least non verbally) just even so.
It makes things really real.
When you say "I beloved y'all," suddenly your relationship is taken to a whole new level. You're no longer coincidental and you can no longer act as if you're just "hanging out" and "having fun." Things accept gone deeper than that. Loving someone and telling them about information technology gives the other person power over you, and that'south scary. The stakes are much higher once these words are said, and that tin can be really complicate things and make them much intense.
You're scared of existence injure.
Again, proverb "I love you" whether yous're ready or not is terrifying. It means that y'all're allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to potentially get hurt. If y'all've had a slew of negative relationship experiences in the past with someone yous loved and they knew it, it makes sense that you'd be more than reserved with futurity partners. However, don't forget that old saying: nothing ventured, nil gained. You'll eventually have to find the courage to put yourself out there if you desire to enjoy the love you deserve.
Y'all're in deprival about your real feelings.
Maybe y'all've been telling yourself all along that this is all just a bit of fun. It'due south super coincidental, it's not that deep, yous're non that into him, it'southward not serious, etc. That's a bully defense mechanism considering information technology allows you lot to distance yourself from the guy in lodge to protect your heart (or so you lot remember). Information technology'south possible that you lot're non gear up to say "I love y'all" considering you oasis't notwithstanding admitted the depths of your feelings for this guy — again, probably considering you're scared of being hurt.
You don't trust him.
Is information technology possible that you're holding off on any grand declarations of honey because yous don't necessarily trust him withal? Sure, he's told you he loves you lot, but do yous believe him? Do you remember he'southward existence 18-carat or do you suspect him of having ulterior motives? Even if this is an unfounded paranoia based on past relationship luggage, it's definitely something that could exist holding y'all back.
It closes off all other options.
When y'all tell someone yous honey them, all bets are off. Y'all can't continue dating other people and keeping your options open. Y'all dearest him, so you're defended to him. When y'all have such a deep feeling for a guy, y'all wouldn't e'er want to do anything to injure him or to betray him, so that means you're definitely sectional fifty-fifty if you hadn't discussed information technology previously. If y'all're not quite gear up to close off everyone else, that could be holding you back from declaring your feelings.
How to get together the courage to say "I dear you lot"
If you actually do beloved the guy but are just having trouble gathering up the courage to say it back for any reasons, here's how to get over yourself and tell him exactly how you experience.
Offset with actions before words.
You might not simply wake up tomorrow morning ready to blurt out those iii little words. That's okay! You tin can offset small by showing him how you feel rather than telling him — that can come up afterward. Do something romantic for him like making him dinner or planning a fun date doing his favorite activity. Go out of your way to do something that will make his life easier. Truly listen to him when he talks and call up the things he says. All of this will leave him with no doubt nigh where your head is at.
Alive in the moment.
Maybe what'due south keeping you from vocalizing your feelings for him is the fact that your head is running abroad with you. Yous're going also far into the time to come instead of enjoying things exactly as they are. When you project as well far ahead, it keeps you from being present in your life as information technology'due south happening and you stop upwardly missing out on and then much proficient stuff. Don't worry about what telling him you honey him might hateful a twelvemonth or five years in the future. You feel this way at present, and that's worth telling him virtually.
Allow yourself to gamble.
It takes courage to put yourself out there and say "I love you lot" back. Maybe things will work out or possibly they won't, but if you don't try, you'll never know. Be brave and take a chance. It just might pay off bigtime.
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Source: https://www.bolde.com/how-to-respond-when-a-guy-says-i-love-you-youre-not-ready-say-it-back/
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